xim

I dont think you have been completely blind to what has been happening to you, and there is nothing wrong with doing what you can to keep your marriage.

But she has crossed so many lines (and crossed them by so far) that I dont see any way this marriage can be recovered with you keeping your dignity. She doesn't respect you. Plain and simple. She probably used to, and she probably still pretends that she does whenever she finds it profitable, but her actions prove that she just doesn't respect you.

Its good you can see that divorce is on the horizon. And I think the logs you've been keeping of your side of the story (on tilted) will give you a lot of power in court. Tell me, does she have any idea this thread exists?




Heres some simple NLP that may help you move forward. Find the silver lining to all these dark clouds, even if it seems like the most pathetic reaching shread of a silver lining ever. Then focus on that one good thing until the whole situation is equal to that one thing.

(As an example here's how I'm dealing with the outcome of the election: Instead of curling up in a ball on the floor, grasping my stomach in screaming in agony at thought of Bush being relected, I just reframe my view of it. I say to myself that it's good that Bush won because it means he is now stuck either having to clean up the mess he made in his first term or he will go down in history as being the irresponsible goon that he is.)

So start focusing on what this divorce really means in the long run:
You will find a new hottie to replace that hurtful succubus, and you will be so over her. Your new chick will totally be an upgrade, smarter, more responsible, better looking, more fun in bed. (You dont believe me? just wait) You will be starting over in your life, and going in whole new directions.

Imagine yourself in 5 years. You are free. Free from all this confusion, free from all this depression and free from this huge mess in your life. You are no longer bankrupt. You have found a decently comfortable job (or even have your own business going). You come home early to shag your new lady who you just think is the coolest girl you've ever met. Then you pick up your kids from school watch them naively engage in their kidly activities.

Then your ex wife comes over. She sees your new woman, house, car and how happy the kids are to be not cramped in her sisters apartment or visiting some shithead guy who happens to be tall and skinny. As she leaves you quietly laugh. You know that she knows she made a huge mistake not being happy with what she had so she lost it. And you are so comfortable in this new life that you would never want go back to being with her, dealing with that crap, in a million years. And you think about how glad you are that you conciously made the descision to move forward. You could have settled in an insecure relationship with someone who wouldnt respect you and tried to force it to last, dealing with endless problems and never being really satisfied. But instead you were strong and made a new life for yourself.

And then you can realize that this is what the divorce really means. The rocky struggle you see yourself up against right now is only a miniscule part of it. This divorce is your chance to goto that place of freedom.

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If I could be anyone in the world I would be Britney Spears. Shes in so many commercials about pepsi... www.ximcity.com