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Originally Posted by theburner
Phyzix.. You seem like a really nice guy, so I am going to be real blunt here.
1) By having kids at this stage in your life you will never be the 21 year old kid that goes out and gets hammered. You signed that right away the second your child/children were born. This isn't tough love, and I am not trying to be a dick. Face facts.. Your main responsibility is to your children/child. If your parents can watch the kids (prearrange this) then go have fun. Otherwise, YOUR ONLY responsibility is to them. You should have thought that you can't handle kids before you did the horizontal shuffle. Too late pal, YOU HAVE TO HANDLE THEM NOW.
2) WAKE THE FUCK UP! I know you love this girl, but EVERYONE else that has replied has told you she is the anti-christ. If you want to give her your sack and whipped and cuckolded for the rest of your life stay with her. If you want to have a healthy relationship and mental state, RUN LIKE YOUR BALL HAIRS ARE ON FIRE.
3) File for divorce, state her comments about not loving you and going after other guys as the reason the marriage is disolving. Fight for custody of the kids. You sound like you are the responsible one, so take your kids. By the sounds of this woman, taking the kids away from the mother IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Adoption is your only other choice.
4) DO NOT LET HER GET A JOB WHERE YOU ARE. She is trying to torture you or control you. Either way this is bad.
Man, I am not trying to be a dick, but by the tone of your emails you just don't seem to get it. I understand fully that emotions can clog your rational thought processes, and that is why I am being as blunt as I can.
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I understand that I can't be out drinking anymore, but that still does not keep me from wanting to.
As for me not being aware, well I think that since I have said all of the negative things about her you all can't really appreciate what all is going on. I can't just run off without trying to keep this together I would be no better then she if I did that.
As for getting full custody of the kids, well I don't think that is what I need to do, she is not going to abuse the kids and when she has them she is good with them and takes care of them. Taking the kids away from their mother is bad on so many levels. Ask about any therapist, unless there is extenuating circumstances, the appearence of normality is best.
As for the job thing, well I should have kept my mouth shut, but a few weeks ago when I was applying I said that she should come apply there also. So she is just taking my advice. She also asked me if it was alright, and I did not want to sound like an immature ass and tell her no.
I realize now that divorce is comeing, the problem now is the money and how long its gonna take. We don't have any stuff so I think we can both use the same attorney. As for custody, I think we should share untill one of us has a stable career and or gets married again.
I am just ready to move on and find someone else now. Get this behind me and get on with life. I just don't want to make a mistake that I will be regreting for the rest of my life.