11-06-2004, 07:56 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Lost
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If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter? No, it becomes a smelly mess.
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? Stays same.
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? Sure is.
What do chickens think we taste like? Nothing, they don't eat us.
What do people in China call their good plates? Good plates.
What do you call a male ladybug? Ladybug
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? N/A
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Human Taste Testers.
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? He didn't think about it.
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Health Guidelines.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Kept moist by the closed container.
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Proof of age.
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Because english is whack.
Why are there Interstates in Hawaii? It's just what they're called.
Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes? You think it's easy funnelling 150 people out of a plane? Most don't know how to 'chute.
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited? Profits.
Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations? No.
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work? Kept at his home.
If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door? In case of emergencies.
Why is a bra singular and panties plural? English is whack.
If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight? Fights bad guys for freedom.
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil? Just various oils, nuts etc.
If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose? Cow's don't laugh. And they don't drink milk.
If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? The light would shine outward. It is compounded by the speed you're traveling plus it's own rate.
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM? Braille's got to go everywhere. Just the law.
Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo? English is whack.
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? They aren't dried with heat.
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane? Geronimo!
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? English is whack.
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? I'm not an etymologist. Can't answer that. English is whack though...
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? A terminal is a point in a circuit at which a connection is normally established
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