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Listen to the sound
of a dead man breathing
Very quietly
It only happens
When you turn off the lights
He gets closer
His eyes are red
And if he touches my hand
With his skeleton bones
It'll be a fist, or a throat
You know what I mean?
His eyes are red
The colour of Hades
The colour of an incredible scream of rage
and Hate and anger
That fills the whole the world
With its viciousness
I will roar
I will bite your neck
Im not talking about
Some stylized Dracula ****
There is a dead girl
Who's been here, oh I dont...
45 years?
Her brother pushed her tricycle
In front of a sand truck
By accident
They had to scrape the remains
Off the road with a shovel
She lived in this house
Dont know if she slept in this room
Or not
There is an adder
There is a dead goldfish
There is an old battered metal filing cabinet
Filled with bank statements
And porn
You were my girlfriend
For 75 days or so
Then you left me
Well, I can see why
And I dont say so
To seem like I do
Or make you feel sorry
I do actually understand
It wasnt anything I said it would be
You could cope with the obvious stuff
It was the unsaid words
Inside of me
No, I never knew what to say
SO most of the time I just talk bull****
instead
I cant even find
Any natural sense
of poetry
Now you are gone
You still call me all the time
Every other week
Same thing
Big difference
Right?
What do you want?
I told you once
So I told you a thousand times
I am not religiously
Or ethnically Jewish
Just because my father was
I ****ing hate him
Anyway
Ive killed him in a lot of dreams
Sometimes he just dies
And I find another life
Another me
You didnt cure me of that
huh?
if youre so ****ing clever
You didnt cure me of that
Yeah, I understand
Why you thought it was best
This way
I might repress these little things
But I see the sky
And I see thd dirt
Everything between
Is just gravity or
Evaporation
Right?
I had ten friends
five watched the sixth
Stab me in the back
with a phillips head
Screwdriver
two I never really liked anyway
the other two, who knows
one of them might be ok
I think, anyway
Ive got a bottle of vodka
Ive got two bottles
of Vanilla coke
Do you see what Im doing
Here?
I had a girlfriend
I had others before her
They were all good people
In their own ways
Some more, some less
They all were ok
And I did my best
They could have done worse
I could have done better
We never connected
In a way that the scattering winds
of fate could not pull apart
Angela, You were the first girl
I ever saw naked
We grew apart
By middle school
So dont go around
Telling people Im superficial
Cos I didnt reply to some anonymous
Valetimes card
You sent me when you were 15
We were not together
3 years already
I dumped you
I dont reemmeber why
So maybe you dumped me
I'll take the blame
If it makes you happy
BUt it was a long time before
You hit 300 lbs
Becky
I had this crazy thing
For at least 2 years
And I never even spoke to you
It was all the way
I was in Mr Lawson's class
And the first year
With Mr Bevan
Its really ****ed up
I have no idea who you are
That you took 2 years of my
Attention
I cant even guess
What colour hair you had
Jo, oh, you were to clever for me
But I was not so stupid
That I couldnt see
When you took the piss
School ties for bondage
In the woods behind the football pitch
It will always be
One of my fondest memories
I heard you were a doctor
check out my website
In case you didnt hear
I am a frustrated revolutionary
I am a wannabe
intellectual
Im not quite smart enough
But I know how to pretend
Emma, Emma B
Everyone used to call you
On account of the fact
There were so many girls
With your name in our year
The less said the better
About those few months
I heard that you had a steady girlfriend now
All I can say
Is that it wasnt as sexy
As people would think
That you were a lesbian
Gemma, yeah, that was never going to work
I introduced you to a guy
Who sold you drugs
I never told you at the time
But the way you styled your hair
Was really ****ing stupid
You know what I mean?
Manda
First love
I guess, all that sort of thing
My Jewish princess
I guess I never felt like you did
My world was an imitation
I never felt so bad
Never was so strong
Never was so indifferent
Everything I act like
You were the archetype
And you really are a pretty girl
We'd still be together
If I had had my way
You know
And so when I was sat cold eyed
And lonely
Staring at a screen
A pint of vodka and coke
A sad sad poem
You cried your eyes out
So, when I read my poems out
To that red haired girl
You were telling your counseller
That you really didnt care
What the difference was
Between a butterfly and Satan
So, so, so, what?
All those spikey haired creeps
You gravitate around
I could beat the **** out of any of them
Dont believe me?
Try me
Seriously
You know?
Leila, last time we spoke
Was when you failed all your exams
You used to talk
About your modelling work
I have to say I acted more
Impressed than I was convinced
You refused to so much
Let me undo the top three buttons
Of your blouse
You used to write poems
And they were even worse than mine
I say this with some certainty
And thats saying something
Mary, now in my university
You were the best
You could be
I did my best too
It was the wrong time for both of us
You will always have a place in my life
Cos I will never ever get tired
Of telling the story
Of how you dumped me
On valentines day
By text message
At half time of my soccer game
hehe
Rebecca, Im not saying this
Unaware of the irony
But if you lost a little weight
I think you would have been happier
I remember when I met your dad
He kept buying me beers
He was a nice guy
I hope he is keeping well
Louise
Ok, this is tenous
We only went on one date
And we never even kissed
Plus I turned up for dinner
Completely pissed
I just wanted you to know
Your a good girl
An excellent soccer player
I have a photo
Of you and Matty Parker
In an album somewhere
He was the only Orient fan
That I've ever met
Stefanie... Well, now
Onto tender ground
You liked to spell your name
Stephanie instead
The first spelling
Says a lot
About me, not you, I think
Too much to say, too close, too distant
If I had been stronger
No way would have I let you go
I dont think you wanted me too
You were the second one
I was really serious about
2 years, and then another year
Or the best part of it
Is not something you do likely
I cherish the fact
That Daryl Sutch
Tried to pull you
Ok, Im joking
I really loved you
I mean it, really loved you
I understand
There was something incompatible
In a way we were too alike
But I'll always be there
When you call
Katie, you were good fun
And you gave me free booze
Your number one with me
You and your crazy ex
And me
If I was a more reckless man
I'd have beaten him up for you
Or else got my head kicked in
Either way
Would have worked for you
I guess
Jenny, my latest squeeze
The disappointment I feel
Is the most fresh
But in the way
Cuts shallow
Against my well calloused wrists
I think we were
Just at different stages
Of our lives
If we had collided
2 years earlier
or a year later
It really would have stood a chance
I dont know
Who do I think I am
Anyway
Alanis Morrisette?
Ive got half a bottle of vodka
Ive got a bottle of coke
Ive got a begtable knife
Ive got sleek black telephone
Ive got a signed photograph
Of Christina Ricci
Ive got a dead sister
Ive got a alcoholic mum, am abusive dad
And two screw up's
Who adopted me
Ive got a sister
Who got dumped by her boyfriend
I know this woman
Who is dating my mum
Who is getting her into drugs
Ive got a baseball bat
Ive got a bad temper
I will walk the block
From the Chinese
Takeaway
Round to the Baptist church
Up to the Bank at the lights
Down to the double roundabout
Anyone I see
When I walk my squared Circle
I'll ask them free questions
If their gentiles
I'll give them three whacks
With my big heavy bat
Right in the knee caps
Then I'll pinch their mobile phone
I'll carry my loot
In a big linen sack
And take it to a charity shop
Bash the window in
Steal all their paperback books
Lug them all the way back home
And sell them on Amazon
I'll come to this board
With varying degrees of success
I'll name names
I'll sing songs
For the people who speak
I'll quote the gospel
of Jesus' twin
When you know yourself
You shall be known
When you know yourselves
You shall be known
The people I talk for
Are not anywhere
Close, far away
Purple elctric
Carving knife, tedy bear
Liquorice water, monkey nuts
Dried apricots, weighing scales
Blue chipped paint, coal bunker,
frozen soccer ball
Sister swing
Sister slide
Sister paddling pool
Anderson shelter
Top Trumps
Rats and Daddy longlegs
Isaac Asimov
Ghosts and UFO's
Double glazing
Kitchen Unit
Baby bleach
potato washing up liquid
Fruit machine
Toffee apple
bonfire
Hedgehog
Death
Death
Death
Death
Death
500 burned billywitches
motorcyle speedway
500 dead bugs
Spray can painted
Around the back lawn
Painted them orange
And they turned black
death
death
death
death
death
__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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