Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

DaDictionaryBoy · 11-05-2004, 01:46 PM

Okay, so I wrote something else based on stuff you wrote in post 30-something but changed my whole post because a lot has happened to you. And I am really sorry for you--it's about as shitty as it gets. Whoever said you're a great guy in a meat grinder was spot on.

Some advice:

1) Get on the divorce papers. And get the children. You are a responsible forward-thinking guy with a drive to succeed. And your children need a role model like that in their lives. You have a great set of parents and a great support network. The offer is out there for your mom to care for her grandkids. Take her up on it. Your two daughters (?) are the most important thing in the world, not something to stick with each other as a punishment. You mentioned wanting to love and protect them--this is how to do it.

2) Don't hook up with anyone until all this is over. If you get caught or word gets back to her that you're with someone that will come back to haunt you in the divorce. (Unless OK is a no-fault state...) Even if OK is, if you want the kids, you want to be as squeeky clean as you can be. She's already admitted to you, your sister, her sister and who knows who else that she's after other guys, doesn't want to be with you, etc. She moved out on you. She left. That's a strong legal position to be in. It's less strong to ALSO be guilty of breaking your marriage vows.

3) Work on this coffee shop idea. Put your energy into it. It will give you something to do to occupy your brain and will give you something completely your own when you're done. When you start to lose motivation, think about how she said she didn't like you because you didn't go to college and couldn't keep a job (big words for someone still in school, btw)--use your anger to motivate you to prove her wrong. Make sure you research the market in the area you want to start your business in. A little shop opened up right next to my office just outside of the downtown core of Denver and they are going gangbusters. They set up free wireless internet access and there are ALWAYS people in there. And it's a tiny place with maybe 5-6 tables and chairs. They managed to get into a space in the bottom of a new loft building and they have built-in clients. Another shop 4 blocks away changes hands and goes out of business every 4-6 months because they are on a one-way, 4-lane street with crap visibility. And by the way, the tilting tables sound like a great idea--think about a rim or a little indent to allow the people to rest their pencils/brushes there. Try the local vocational school or community college and see if you can get a fabrication class to build them. Gives them a project and you'll get a custom table for WAY less $$$$.

Okay...this post is getting out of hand.

You're a REALLY strong person in a really shitty place and I admire the heck out of you for owning up to the maturity required as a husband and a parent. It's too bad your child-bride couldn't see what she had. Her loss. Someone else will.

11-05-2004, 01:46 PM	#117 (permalink)
DaDictionaryBoy Upright Location: In the Wild Wild West	Yeah Okay, so I wrote something else based on stuff you wrote in post 30-something but changed my whole post because a lot has happened to you. And I am really sorry for you--it's about as shitty as it gets. Whoever said you're a great guy in a meat grinder was spot on. Some advice: 1) Get on the divorce papers. And get the children. You are a responsible forward-thinking guy with a drive to succeed. And your children need a role model like that in their lives. You have a great set of parents and a great support network. The offer is out there for your mom to care for her grandkids. Take her up on it. Your two daughters (?) are the most important thing in the world, not something to stick with each other as a punishment. You mentioned wanting to love and protect them--this is how to do it. 2) Don't hook up with anyone until all this is over. If you get caught or word gets back to her that you're with someone that will come back to haunt you in the divorce. (Unless OK is a no-fault state...) Even if OK is, if you want the kids, you want to be as squeeky clean as you can be. She's already admitted to you, your sister, her sister and who knows who else that she's after other guys, doesn't want to be with you, etc. She moved out on you. She left. That's a strong legal position to be in. It's less strong to ALSO be guilty of breaking your marriage vows. 3) Work on this coffee shop idea. Put your energy into it. It will give you something to do to occupy your brain and will give you something completely your own when you're done. When you start to lose motivation, think about how she said she didn't like you because you didn't go to college and couldn't keep a job (big words for someone still in school, btw)--use your anger to motivate you to prove her wrong. Make sure you research the market in the area you want to start your business in. A little shop opened up right next to my office just outside of the downtown core of Denver and they are going gangbusters. They set up free wireless internet access and there are ALWAYS people in there. And it's a tiny place with maybe 5-6 tables and chairs. They managed to get into a space in the bottom of a new loft building and they have built-in clients. Another shop 4 blocks away changes hands and goes out of business every 4-6 months because they are on a one-way, 4-lane street with crap visibility. And by the way, the tilting tables sound like a great idea--think about a rim or a little indent to allow the people to rest their pencils/brushes there. Try the local vocational school or community college and see if you can get a fabrication class to build them. Gives them a project and you'll get a custom table for WAY less $$$$. Okay...this post is getting out of hand. You're a REALLY strong person in a really shitty place and I admire the heck out of you for owning up to the maturity required as a husband and a parent. It's too bad your child-bride couldn't see what she had. Her loss. Someone else will. Last edited by DaDictionaryBoy; 11-05-2004 at 03:08 PM..