11-04-2004, 12:37 PM
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#151 (permalink)
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Getting Medieval on your ass
Location: 13th century Europe
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The story thus far:
Quote:
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Walking home one Thursday completely naked, I ran into a police officer. I told him "Want a doughnut?" And he said “Not as much as I want to be naked with your mom.” “My mom is naked and horny. Wanna meet her?” “Yes I do!” “But first I have to scratch this sticker off the back of this beer bottle before I bash your face with my magic wand.” Then she said “Please, you must help that poor donkey cross the girl's high-heeled legs because he wants to achieve an award winning medal, somersault past the homeless guy who ate my dog.” But your mom said "What in tarnation is that donkey doing with those donuts that he received from Santa's newest reindeer, Laszlo the red assed baboon mix?” and licked the icing from Laszlo's itchy red rash under the green Jolly Rancher stuck where the sun refused to shine. Then she gently felt and jerked the deer meat until it was oozing with juicy, creamy, happy sauce. All bestiality aside - the last place donkey doing with a massive load of horse poo. I love this country. Where else can you eat deep fat fried Oreo cookies without feeling the least bit sick, until you have had deep fried sick? Meanwhile, everyone's favorite place, fuzzy and warm, is the womb of their favorite, most popular Japanese pop idol: William Hung, who everyone forgot about and is currently shining shoes in South Africa with Ron Jeremy, wearing your mother's pink feather boa and hot pink shoes. In the middle of the night I sit here roughly handling my business when my grandmother walks in and says; "Holy shit, what are you doing with that massive pink boa on your head and nothing up inside your little hairy butthole?” After I cried my salty tear I slammed my finger in the big keg's bunghole and said "Where can I get a giant, smelly piece of B******P?” What is B*****P? It's the beefsoup. So then I licked a butthole that reeked of my mother's rancid vaginal cottage cheese which really isn't all that tasty. When all of a sudden my father came in and told me to "get off the damn phone and do some house cleaning because if you don't the crusted catpuke will no longer be good to flavor my coffee." I just decided that I'm sick of his bullshit so I whacked off with my fake rubber hand and it felt just like a vagina, except that it was oddly misshapen due to twenty-five years of endlessly sticking it in the blender.
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That woulda been easier had people paid attention to grammar and spelling. 
Last edited by Coppertop; 11-04-2004 at 12:40 PM..
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