Thanks all for the replies thus far.
denim: I don't recall exactly what was discussed in that regard, but she certainly would have been prepared to give SS#/mother's maiden name/etc and did in fact volunteer information about her own medical history and concerns in an attempt to draw out more information.
bill96ab: that sounds somewhat reasonable, and yes it was unfortunate but not the end of the world either. I hope I didn't over-dramatize the situation.
mbaha: I'll assume you're being facetious and that's fine, although there are probably more than a few folks who would sincerely agree with your sentiments as worded; in case you were serious though, I'd like to state that my very limited understanding of the relationship between doctors and insurance companies/HMOs leads me to suspect that doctors may sometimes feel forced to try and accumulate additional billable services in order that they may be fairly compensated, and I don't necessarily view this as a despicable act. I only wish things had been handled a bit differently in this particular case, whatever the motivation.
edit: apparently it is now
the late mbaha; my condolences.