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Originally Posted by Rlyss
Ok, well to answer Locs question from my point of view, I think you need to find out if she's telling you the truth about why she's stopped messing around with her friends' underwear.
a) She never liked it in the first place and was only doing it to please you, which I think is a good thing. She was good, giving, and game (which I think is what Dan Savage always says). Partners should try and accomodate the other sometimes, if that means giving oral even if you're not really in a sexy mood, or the man giving the woman a backrub even if he doesn't want to, or doing the dishes, or running a bath, anything like that. Mabye she stopped doing it because it was getting a bit out of hand.
b) Maybe she did really enjoy it but after you two split up (and got back together it seems) she doesn't like what you guys did. Tell us, did your breakup have anything to do with that? Was it due to sexual reasons? Because if it was, eg. if she thought you were getting a bit too freaky for her to handle, or if it turned out that really was a fetish (and you couldn't get off any other way), or she thought all the sex was only fulfilling your desires (maybe her desire is romance, rather than kinkiness) then it makes sense that she'd want to quit that activity and get back to more vanilla sex.
I think you should work, and tell us, why you two broke up, and whether that has changed her outlook. If it was your fault you two broke up (if you cheated, for example, or you initiated it) then it makes sense that she doesn't want to be so open anymore, and she's a bit wary.
Maybe her friend even found out what you guys were up to and asked her to stop it. I sure as hell wouldn't be happy about my friends doing that with my clothes behind my back, that'd be grounds for an ass-kicking I think. I would NOT be happy about that at all. Maybe she's embarassed that her friend asked her to stop and she's too ashamed to tell you.
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We broke up because of her not trusting me. I had a shady past, that I was honest and very upfront about. I got to the point in my life where I tell the truth about myself, and find no reason to bullshit girls anymore. She asked about ex's and such, and I told her. I cheated on every g/f I had, except for the past 3. That includes an ex fiancee, and the girl I was with before her. Sure, I could have told her that I was a perfect guy, and never thought about cheating, but then...why lie? She asked I told her. I also let her know when I was being a playboy, I was young, and wasnt looking for anything serious...but time and maturity changes a persons views, and relationships, and I am not like that anymore.
So, on to why we broke up. I am from a different city than where I am living now. So I get a call on my cell phone from some girl that I have NO idea who it is. She leaves me a voicemail saying "It was great to meet you, and lets go to a movie this weekend etc.." . I ignore it, and think A. Its somebody just joking with me...a buddy or whatnot, or B. A wrong number that didnt bother to listen to my name on my voicemail. Either way I blow it off. Well...she checked my voicemail (something that pisses me off to NO end), and thought I hooked up with another girl from my hometown. With no way to prove it, and just going off heresay, she accuses me. I get pissed for her checking my voicemail, and for not believing ME, over a stupid message on my phone. I let her know if she doesnt trust me...dont be with me, because I wouldnt be with someone I dont trust...its just plain stupid.
Now for the record, I have not cheated on her. She has no reason to think I have except for her assumptions, and imagination. But no, it wasnt anything sexual.
We are back together. I am thinking to myself why though to be honest.
No her firend(s) have no idea what we have done. It was 3 friends panties we played with, and always put them back. They dont know.
Oh, and just an FYI, you can find another person sexy, attrative, and still be in love with one person. It human nature. Just because I would love to see a friend of hers naked...doesnt mean I am going to jump her bones. Anyone tells you they dont find anyone else attractive is bullshitting, or in a coma.
So what do you think now?