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bernadette wears a locket with a key inside. The key unlocks a box in which is kept the shrunken head of Ivan the Terrible. No one knows bernadette has this heirloom.
Once a month, during the waxing crescent moon, bernadette unlocks the box, rubs the shrunken Ivan melon, and laughs nefariously. She has no real reason for doing this, but she does it nonetheless.
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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
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