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Houston:
1. The climate - constant rain, floods, hurricanes, tornados, humidity, heat, etc.
2. Traffic - really doesn't affect my 2 mile commute, though - but what can you say about a place where it's legal to turn right on red, but not left on green?
3. Taxes and insurance rates (sure it's one item - file it under "escrow payment").
Do I only get three?
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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
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