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I would second all the above advice. I would only add, and ask you consider the following. You're a big guy. You could probably conceal carry anything you like, and that's what you need to decide. I know people that carry full size 1911's, and I know people that carry bugs(super compacts). As far as caliber, I'd say 9mm or better. Rent or borrow as many pistols as you can. Find what fits your hands. You must be comfortable with the firearm if you're gonna carry it. From your criteria, reliability should be paramount. Revolvers fit this bill better than autos, though, I'm partial to Sigs. I believe fit should be highly considered. Your hands need to wrap around this thing like you were born to do it. Some pistols will point for you, others won't. Cleaning and expense should not be issues. Buy a gun, you'll learn to service it. Expense? 9mm is relatively cheap for practice. Hell, anything Winchester white box at Walmart is a good deal. Practice with the cheap stuff, and pack the good stuff. Cor-Bon is a favorite of mine. +P hollow-points are wonderful defensive rounds. Some would argue that you should practice with the good stuff, but that gets expensive. CCW shooting/defense situations usually occur at a ridiculously close range. If you've practiced, and you're packing good ammo, you'll save your/loved one's life.
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