You've made a big step in recognizing that it's a problem. So, first, I would say that you should be proud of the fact that you recognize it. Many people never recognize they're in an abusive relationship. Second, you want to change it. That's another huge step. A HUGE step. I commend you for that.
Now, the big issue is what to do. Yes, you need counseling. Not just for your marriage to survive, but for you as well. You were abused as a child and have not dealt with those issues. Even if your current marriage fails, if you do not deal with your past abuses, you will be doomed to repeat those cycles. As suave has said, there are many places that offer counseling for people who otherwise cannot afford it. I urge you to seek out those resources.
What also is of great importance is that your husband recognizes the problem as well and is willing to get help. If he is, then you're already on your way to a better relationship. If he's not, then you need to help yourself.
Part of an abusive cycle is the urge to please the other person, as you've stated.
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I want us to be happy all of the time.
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You need to realize that this is a fantasy statement. No couple will ever be happy all of the time. There is nothing wrong with that. We are humans and are unhappy, and even angry, from time to time. It's not an issue of fixing it so you're always happy; it's an issue of fixing it so you can do something constructive and meaningful with your anger. Learning to direct your anger in a healthy way is imperative.
However, I want to reiterate that the most important aspect of all of this is that you get help for yourself. You will follow one abusive relationship after another if you don't deal with what you went through.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you get the help you need.