spock

A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it ok for us guys to notice all
the different kind of boobs?"

Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be normal
if we didn't.... there are all kinds of breasts...depending on a woman's
age-- In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and
firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions, Dad?"

"Yeah, you see them and they make you cry...."

Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of
penises are there?"

The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well, daughter, a
man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is
like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a
birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas
tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yep, dried up and the balls are only there for decoration..."