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You have just about described my wife to the "T" with the exception of the date rape. I have tried and tried to talk to my wife about this with no change. A marriage with very little or no physical relationship is very frustrating.
I would have to say that give your situiation that perhaps counseling could be a great help. I also agree with the above that a negative and/or passive attitide towards sex is not healthy nor fair to either partner in the relationship.
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