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Originally Posted by la petite moi
No, what I meant was: I don't want to have a religious ceremony at all. Who can marry us, then?
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In California, anyone can. They need to get a temporary license as a "marriage officiant" down at the county court house. It's good for a limited time -- usually, on a specified day. So anyone that you know and respect could marry you. You can rent a venue, or you can just pick a handy stretch of beach. Permits may be officially required for a beach, but if you've got a small party and you aren't having major entertainment or obvious booze, who's going to care? I can tell you a lot about having a wedding on the beach in the Santa Cruz area, if you're interested.
Outside of that, you can get a judge to marry you at the county courthouse. That's what we did. You have to set a date in advance; how far in advance depends on the county and on how many judges do weddings, and how often.
As for the wife and I, we were married by a judge. We'd already lived together for years, owned a house together, and considered ourselves married. But what with getting older and legal and medical concerns, we thought tying the knot would be best. Also eased the mind of my mother, who was sure we were going to hell for living in sin. Mom's old-fashioned.
Anyway, we showed up in the judge's chamber with a witness (you need to bring at least one), and he married us. The judge -- traffic commissioner, actually -- was a nice guy. Crayon drawings made by his children covered the walls of his office. He obviously enjoyed doing the ceremony after a day of hearing moving-violation cases, and was genuinely interested in us. Good vibes all around. After the wedding, we and our witness had a casual tail-gater reception in the courthouse parking lot with nonalcoholic champagne, and then she and I went off for a nice dinner. I wouldn't change a thing.
You might not want to do it this way, but a casual wedding, done right, can be as satisfying as a traditional church or wedding chapel extravanganza with a cast of hundreds. More, even. If we'd had five or ten witnesses, maybe we'd have driven to the beach and had our tail-gater there. But there's not other way I would have expanded it.