Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - No sex with wife in a year. Having an affair.

Lockjaw · 10-08-2004, 05:49 AM

Cheating for any reason is one of the lowest things you can do to another person and there is no amount of reasoning that makes it logical or ok. That is the ultimate violation in trust and IMO respect.

You seriously need to talk to your wife about this situation and find out where her head is at. In fact I'd suggest some marital counseling post haste because odds are it's not just her deciding she's tired of sex all of a sudden. There is something emotional that is causing this and like others have said it could be something as "simple" as her not feeling sexy anymore or something much more damaging.

The next thing you need to do is break this affair off. I can't think of anything worse than getting into an affair with your co-worker. It's bad enough if you are two single people dating on the side. Most companies even have policies against such things. This is doublely dangerous as your mistress right now might only see it as sex but she just as easily could start getting more serious feelings and intentions towards you and she might not like it when you eventually spurn her. If you get out now you might just lose a friend. If you wait until the inevitable to occur you just might lose your wife you say you love, your job because your boss might not look to kindly on an intraoffice affair going on that if exposed will likely start all kinds of crap in the office, and worse yet your children.

That's something I don't think most adulterers think about their kids. And about how this could damage their lives not only now as a child but in the future as an adult.
When you look in your child's eyes today think about how badly it would hurt them when they hear about mommy and daddy breaking up. Think how much it will hurt them in the future when they eventually find out about WHY mommy and daddy broke up and how resentful they likely will feel towards you. Some cheap sex with some office skank isn't worth blowing your life up for it never is.

At least try to work this thing out every marriage deserves the same amount of effort to save it than it does to destroy it(and cheating and not getting caught is going to take a lot of work). Then after you've given it your all and it still isn't working divorce her but you at least owe her the respect of not cheating on and lying to her.

10-08-2004, 05:49 AM	#7 (permalink)
Lockjaw Junkie	Cheating for any reason is one of the lowest things you can do to another person and there is no amount of reasoning that makes it logical or ok. That is the ultimate violation in trust and IMO respect. You seriously need to talk to your wife about this situation and find out where her head is at. In fact I'd suggest some marital counseling post haste because odds are it's not just her deciding she's tired of sex all of a sudden. There is something emotional that is causing this and like others have said it could be something as "simple" as her not feeling sexy anymore or something much more damaging. The next thing you need to do is break this affair off. I can't think of anything worse than getting into an affair with your co-worker. It's bad enough if you are two single people dating on the side. Most companies even have policies against such things. This is doublely dangerous as your mistress right now might only see it as sex but she just as easily could start getting more serious feelings and intentions towards you and she might not like it when you eventually spurn her. If you get out now you might just lose a friend. If you wait until the inevitable to occur you just might lose your wife you say you love, your job because your boss might not look to kindly on an intraoffice affair going on that if exposed will likely start all kinds of crap in the office, and worse yet your children. That's something I don't think most adulterers think about their kids. And about how this could damage their lives not only now as a child but in the future as an adult. When you look in your child's eyes today think about how badly it would hurt them when they hear about mommy and daddy breaking up. Think how much it will hurt them in the future when they eventually find out about WHY mommy and daddy broke up and how resentful they likely will feel towards you. Some cheap sex with some office skank isn't worth blowing your life up for it never is. At least try to work this thing out every marriage deserves the same amount of effort to save it than it does to destroy it(and cheating and not getting caught is going to take a lot of work). Then after you've given it your all and it still isn't working divorce her but you at least owe her the respect of not cheating on and lying to her.