City of Angels is right IMO. I understand that people can cheat and "love" at the same time, because I've been on your wife's end of things.
The other thing is that the coworker affair is very, very risky, and I've seen some lives get destroyed from infidelity that gets outed and leads to divorce. If you want to get your life back with your wife, you gotta put some work into it.
One possibility is that your wife kind of knows about the other woman with some kind of 6th sense shit, just judging by how you're acting. A lot of times women will stay with a guy out of loneliness, kids or whatever even if they have that nagging feeling that they're getting screwed.
I know it's got to be depressing as hell to be with someone who's not interested sexually. But if you're not willing to dump the affair for moral reasons, end it for practical reasons - it could potentially fuck your whole life that you'd worked on through the marriage.
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... and shit.
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