Many thanks to the others for the info about the Durex Performa condoms.
There are several things you can do to improve your performance.
1. Kegels for men. Here is a great link that describes them:
link
2. Controlled breathing. Controlling your breathing so that you remain calm can really help a lot. For me, this is most important. When you feel like you're going to cum, notice that your breathing is probably fast, with short breaths. From the very start, try breathing normally while you're penetrating your girl to reduce your body's excitement and sense of urgency. Slow, calm breaths are your friend. (This is why studs last a really long time - they're not excited about having sex because they do it all the time and it's no big deal.)
3. Counting. Like someone else mentioned, start counting. What you can do is just start counting seconds or thrusts. Have a number in mind that you want to reach, like, say, 300, which will indicate that you've been penetrating for 5 minutes if you're counting seconds. You may not reach that goal the first few times, but keep practicing so that you reach a higher number each time. Then you can start increasing your goals. Focusing on counting plus your breathing can help you a lot.
4. Position. Perhaps there are positions that reduce your sensitivity? Some men (and women) like having the woman on top. Having her on top can make her cum faster because she controls where your dick touches her inside. Plus, you can remain calmer and more focused on your breathing because you're just lying there, enjoying the view.
5. Stopping. You say that you've tried stopping and just kissing her, but with no success. Perhaps trying this with the controlled breathing will help. I've seen sex therapists on TV recommend having the woman squeeze your penis just below the head with her hand to stop you from cumming, then, when you've recomposed yourself, resume penetration. I don't know about this advice though, when I'm ready to cum, having her squeeze my dick really hard with her hand makes me explode.
6. Cumming before penetration. Like the others have said, rub one out a couple hours before. Even better, have her relieve you orally or with her hand prior to intercourse. After you've cum, you can continue to pleasure her orally or with your fingers for at least a good 20 minutes or so until you're ready to be hard again. Plus, by then, she's probably begging you to get inside of her and she may cum quickly. Perhaps she'll even cum before you and you can continue to pump and give her several shuddering orgasms, each one more intense than the last... That's when you're the stud.
And who says you have to stop if you cum during intercourse? With doing the Kegel exercises, you can reduce your recovery time. Some guys even claim they can stay hard after orgasm. Just clean up in the bathroom, get a new condom ready, pleasure her some more while you recover, and start again. I guarantee you that you will not cum as quickly the second time. And if so, go for a third.
Good luck. Let us know what works for you.