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Originally Posted by shakran
i'm gonna dissent from the majority here (try to contain your shock everyone) and say that you not only didn't go too far, you're not going far enough.
She's living in a fantasy world that she can have this kid and not have to hold him responsible for it because mommy and daddy are paying for it. She needs to learn that there are consequences to being stupid (and having sex at 16 is the epitome of stupid) and that if she doesn't want to step up to the plate and do what needs to be done (get child support) then she will have to bear those consequences.
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I only got down to the quote above and wanted to add some thoughts...i can/will add some more later but...what shakran said above i totally agree in.
The only thing I am unsure of is if it was "rape" or was it just a teenager trying to rebel by having sex...also imo if her mother is laid back I am not surprised that this has happened sorry to say.
My sister and I dont have a relationship with our father after she got pregnant....lil story to help backup(make more sense) of what i am saying sorry if its too long.
My parents divorced about 10 years ago...i am 25 now and she(sister) is 26, Our "father"(so called) married the county slut and things went downhill from there but what put the icing on the cake, and where he decided to disown us, was that when my sister was pregnant with her son, now 2.5 years old, our "father" backed him up, giving him money and/or anything that would piss her(my sister) off or would help him(the father) get a better chance with his son, but our "father" would only do these things as long as he was allowed(by the babys father)to come to the visits. Anyway the father is lazy and wont work nor will he pay anything to help his son out and doesnt deserve to have much if anything to do with his son if he cant provide the necessary means for them to survive, let alone anything else. The only way my sister has survived this far was by living at home and our mother watches him during the day while she goes to work(more on this in another thread lol). Edit: Wanted to add that my sister was/is mature enough, even tho she did get pregnant.
I do agree that you will need to sit down with ur daughter and have an adult conversation, whatever you do, DO NOT loose ur temper. You may want to have your Ex there also as a witness. I have one child atm and another on the way so if i was in ur situation i would do some similar things. Also try talking to ur ex about these things, get her opinion if you havent already. Lastly, imo she needs to learn that she needs to depend on you and her mother's help cause her son depends on her. Hopefully this is all clear, if not i can clarify what i meant. Whatever happens tho I hope everything turns out for the best whatever that maybe. Good Luck!