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I have nibble constantly. I cannot eat a large meal all at once. I did notice a distinct difference in how much I gained once I hit 30. I am very, very active with doing at home day care. I end up carrying 20-40 lb kids several times during the day, go up and down stairs (9 steps to upstairs and about the same to the basment which gets tread twice a day minimum). I am constantly moving. I find it hard to sit still even when at rest. I think it's the activity that makes a big difference in how much I can eat without gaining versus another person's eating habits.
Eat right
Stay active
Don't worry about how much you are eating if you don't gain or you loose weight.
As for your kids - My daughter eats the same as I do but is just as active if not more so. As long as she eats right and isn't over weight I'm not worry about how MUCH she eats.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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