Patience is surely the key. You want it so bad now, that when it doesn't happen, you get frustrated and so you tense up. Becomes a vicious circle. I have found, at a TOY party, a product called anal ease. It has some sort of numbing agent in it to help EASE the discomfort. But as everyone else says, TONS of lube and lots of foreplay...you're on the right track and yes, I've had one of the greatest orgasms ever with anal. It's sure worth the effort.
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