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Willravel · 09-29-2004, 08:48 PM

I've got one. Sex olympics.
Day 1: the marathon. In the real olympics, the Kenyans always win the marathon. Now it's your turn. Gold: 2 hours straight, Silver: 1 hour, Bronze: 20 minutes...
Day 2: the sprint. You'll be exhausted from yesterday's activities, so we'll keep it short today. REALLY short. The benifits? The same as in the Olympic 100-meter dash: a quick, explosive, life-affirming display of strength and passion. You probably won't need any help with this one. Gold: both under 3 minutes, Silver: she has an orgasm in 5 minutes, Bronze: you have an orgasm in the first 45 seconds and have to do the dishes.
Day 3: archery. Put away the arrow, Robin. You're going to be using your tongue in this event. But you will need the same skills Olympic archers use-aim, positioning, and a keen eye. The feather in the cap is optional... Gold: She makes noises that, frankly, scare you, Silver: She reaches orgasm and pats you on the head, Bronze: she closes up the target range early; moves on
Day 4: discus throw. What are the Olympics, if not a celebration of the inhuman things the human body can do? It's time to use those positions that only gymnists are supposed to know. I suggest the judge's stand, wheelbarrow (if that's to hard, use the bunny slopes), and the heavy lifter...(PM for descriptions, but only if absolutely necessary). Gold: All three positions, no injuries, Silver: Two positions, one or two rugburns, Bronze: one position, and you fell.
Day 5: synchronized swimming. Aqua sex feels like nothing else on earth. Okay, that's a little wierd. But sex underwater is cool for the simple reason that the laws of gravity are temporarily undone thanks to boyancy. Unfortunatally for your partner, the laws of lubrication are still very much in effect when you do it. Swimming pool = too much chlorine, ocean = salt water, and the little mermaid. Go for the hot tub, and bring the lube. Gold: 1 hour underwater, Silver: at least 30 minutes, Bronze: after 10 minutes, you both become land lubbers
Day 6: soccer. Sometimes the best way to intensify an erotic experience is to impose limitations. The object of this game: for you and your partner to reach orgasm using any means necesssary...except with your hands. Don't worry; you still have you mouth, feet, soccer ball...this game will not remain scoreless at halftime. Gold: 2 goals each, Silver 1 goal each, Bronze: you take matters into your own hands
Day 7: the decathlon. A word about the venue for today's event: be sure to pick a warm room and have a bunch of fluffy towels on hand. Don't be afraid of the floor, bring mats! the ten spots: 1-feet, 2-behind knees, 3-area where groin and legs meet, 4-breasts, 5-inside of the arm, 6-hands, 7-neck, 8-shoulders, 9-behind the ears, 10-head and scalp. Gold: she's unconscious, Silver: she's grateful, Bronze, she's grateful it's over.
Day 8: team handball. Same basic premice as soccer (day 6), but now you're limited to using your hot little paws. Former Catholic highschool stuents will be most familiar with this event, since it is the only way to have sex ithout going to hell. Scoring same as day 6
Day 9: freestyle gymnastics. Do it and do it right. You've been at it all week, so just do whatever makes you both feel good. And accept nothing less than a 9.5 from the judges.

Enjoy.

09-29-2004, 08:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I've got one. Sex olympics. Day 1: the marathon. In the real olympics, the Kenyans always win the marathon. Now it's your turn. Gold: 2 hours straight, Silver: 1 hour, Bronze: 20 minutes... Day 2: the sprint. You'll be exhausted from yesterday's activities, so we'll keep it short today. REALLY short. The benifits? The same as in the Olympic 100-meter dash: a quick, explosive, life-affirming display of strength and passion. You probably won't need any help with this one. Gold: both under 3 minutes, Silver: she has an orgasm in 5 minutes, Bronze: you have an orgasm in the first 45 seconds and have to do the dishes. Day 3: archery. Put away the arrow, Robin. You're going to be using your tongue in this event. But you will need the same skills Olympic archers use-aim, positioning, and a keen eye. The feather in the cap is optional... Gold: She makes noises that, frankly, scare you, Silver: She reaches orgasm and pats you on the head, Bronze: she closes up the target range early; moves on Day 4: discus throw. What are the Olympics, if not a celebration of the inhuman things the human body can do? It's time to use those positions that only gymnists are supposed to know. I suggest the judge's stand, wheelbarrow (if that's to hard, use the bunny slopes), and the heavy lifter...(PM for descriptions, but only if absolutely necessary). Gold: All three positions, no injuries, Silver: Two positions, one or two rugburns, Bronze: one position, and you fell. Day 5: synchronized swimming. Aqua sex feels like nothing else on earth. Okay, that's a little wierd. But sex underwater is cool for the simple reason that the laws of gravity are temporarily undone thanks to boyancy. Unfortunatally for your partner, the laws of lubrication are still very much in effect when you do it. Swimming pool = too much chlorine, ocean = salt water, and the little mermaid. Go for the hot tub, and bring the lube. Gold: 1 hour underwater, Silver: at least 30 minutes, Bronze: after 10 minutes, you both become land lubbers Day 6: soccer. Sometimes the best way to intensify an erotic experience is to impose limitations. The object of this game: for you and your partner to reach orgasm using any means necesssary...except with your hands. Don't worry; you still have you mouth, feet, soccer ball...this game will not remain scoreless at halftime. Gold: 2 goals each, Silver 1 goal each, Bronze: you take matters into your own hands Day 7: the decathlon. A word about the venue for today's event: be sure to pick a warm room and have a bunch of fluffy towels on hand. Don't be afraid of the floor, bring mats! the ten spots: 1-feet, 2-behind knees, 3-area where groin and legs meet, 4-breasts, 5-inside of the arm, 6-hands, 7-neck, 8-shoulders, 9-behind the ears, 10-head and scalp. Gold: she's unconscious, Silver: she's grateful, Bronze, she's grateful it's over. Day 8: team handball. Same basic premice as soccer (day 6), but now you're limited to using your hot little paws. Former Catholic highschool stuents will be most familiar with this event, since it is the only way to have sex ithout going to hell. Scoring same as day 6 Day 9: freestyle gymnastics. Do it and do it right. You've been at it all week, so just do whatever makes you both feel good. And accept nothing less than a 9.5 from the judges. Enjoy.