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1) Say never.
Now, onto things that, to my knowledge and judging from my current moral, emotional, and mental standpoint, I strongly doubt I would do:
1) Slap the Queen of England with my penis.
2) Eat fecal matter.
3) Get it on with a dude.
4) Kill an old lady by throwing baby kittens at her.
5) Intentionally pee on myself.
6) Lick any surface of a public transit vehicle.
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