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Originally Posted by avhg1
A relationship is about respecting each other's feelings. Telling her she can't go will only make you look like a jerk and probably intensify her feeling that she should go. Explain your feelings, but make sure that she understands that you are not telling her what to do.
As for it being a trust issue, I think it is and you are only trying to convince yourself otherwise. I've done it in my relationship. I made up all kinds of what if's, but it always boiled down to a trust issue. I think it is close to impossible to truly trust someone if you really love them. They hold too much of your feelings and there is always a self preservation instinct. In my case I just think that everyone makes bad choices at times and some situations, such as yours, just seem to be hedging the odds on those choices being made.
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There is nothing better in a relationship than 100% unconditional trust. However, that trust needs to be built on good decisions made by the other party.
Heading out of state to visit an old fling alone is NOT a good decision, no matter how you want to spruce it up. My wife would not be going on a trip like that, and I understand that I would not be either if the roles were reversed, no matter how good my intentions were. A marriage is give and take, and it sounds like our boy here is about to be taken for a ride.