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Originally Posted by victorjara
Thanks for replies, they help me by giving me a wider set of viewpoints to consider than just my own. It appears that overwhelmingly you all think I screwed up.
DJ Happy, Seer666 - He has never officially accepted paternity. On the birth certificate, the space for father is blank. The only arrangement he has with my daughter for supporting the child is 'she doesn't ask and he doesn't pay'. But some day in the future the baby will start eating her out of house and home, and the father will be making more money, and if my daughter signs away her rights to support like she wants to do (out of some misguided loyalty, Stockholm Effect, love, or the subtle effects of adult-over-child coersion) it will be a big mistake. And I'm not going to let that happen while she is still on my watch.
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Then I misunderstood that part, and you are right in holding him to the test. Make him face up. i was under the impression that he already had. I still feel you should have a heart to heart with the girl though, and try to empithise with her. Not give in on that part, mind you, just try and make her understand that you you are very worried about her and love her, without stepping on her beliefs that she can think for herself. Hard line, I know. And I do hope that you can resolve the conflict with her. these kind of things are very hard to deal with. As for him, take him to the goat locker and give him a wall to wall to make him do what is right if you have to.