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I'm no psychologist, and certainly not entirely sane, but here's my take... She intimidates you because you feel inferior to her sexually. When you're by yourself you have control and in you mind you can say whatever you want to the chicks you fantisize about.
What I think you should do about it is stop worrying about her and how she feels about it and look at her like the object you fantasize about when you're jerking off. What might also help is not to jerk off for a while, say a week, and maybe drink a moderate amount of alcohol to reduce your inhibitions (under the amount it would take you to black out).
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