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victorjara · 09-27-2004, 08:27 PM

I've had a little shift in my perspective, and am feeling a little hopeful.

I've been thinking about...what is God's will in all of this?

I don't think it is about tearing my family apart, even if I am right. I can be right and still my family will be destroyed. The father's job is to preserve and protect the family.

I think that any more "tough love" on my part will just further escalate the situation and make it all the more difficult than ever to resolve. I think I've done enough.

It's time to mellow out my anger and resentment against this guy. Those emotions will only cause me and everyone else more trouble. This situation has really hurt me, and each of my family in a different way. That was his crime. I think everyone has felt enough pain. He's going to be tested. He will eventually be hooked into child support, and he is doing his probation time. I think he probably has learned his lesson. I think (hope) my daughter has had a wake up call, as have I, regarding my own strategy in this crisis. It's possible to be 100% right and dead wrong.

I'm not sure what actions to take from this point on, and how to go about the rebuilding. I think it is time to let my daughter make her own decisions, and just try to be there for when she falls, to give her a shoulder to boost up with (without being an enabler). It may take a long time before there is even any contact, but I think that I'm through with courts etc. Someone said that I need to be the first one to compromise. I guess it's time to just be a spectator. Perhaps, at some point not too distant, she will have a spurt of growth and compromise a bit and let me see my grandson.

I think in a couple of days, I'll write her a letter, telling her of this and reminding her of my eternal love, and letting her know that my path was my best efforts at trying to help her, and asking forgiveness and understanding for any mistakes I might have made in the process.

I should probably just have written this in my journal, but you all have been so helpful, I thought that I need to put it here. Feel free to chime in.

09-27-2004, 08:27 PM	#25 (permalink)
victorjara Upright	I've had a little shift in my perspective, and am feeling a little hopeful. I've been thinking about...what is God's will in all of this? I don't think it is about tearing my family apart, even if I am right. I can be right and still my family will be destroyed. The father's job is to preserve and protect the family. I think that any more "tough love" on my part will just further escalate the situation and make it all the more difficult than ever to resolve. I think I've done enough. It's time to mellow out my anger and resentment against this guy. Those emotions will only cause me and everyone else more trouble. This situation has really hurt me, and each of my family in a different way. That was his crime. I think everyone has felt enough pain. He's going to be tested. He will eventually be hooked into child support, and he is doing his probation time. I think he probably has learned his lesson. I think (hope) my daughter has had a wake up call, as have I, regarding my own strategy in this crisis. It's possible to be 100% right and dead wrong. I'm not sure what actions to take from this point on, and how to go about the rebuilding. I think it is time to let my daughter make her own decisions, and just try to be there for when she falls, to give her a shoulder to boost up with (without being an enabler). It may take a long time before there is even any contact, but I think that I'm through with courts etc. Someone said that I need to be the first one to compromise. I guess it's time to just be a spectator. Perhaps, at some point not too distant, she will have a spurt of growth and compromise a bit and let me see my grandson. I think in a couple of days, I'll write her a letter, telling her of this and reminding her of my eternal love, and letting her know that my path was my best efforts at trying to help her, and asking forgiveness and understanding for any mistakes I might have made in the process. I should probably just have written this in my journal, but you all have been so helpful, I thought that I need to put it here. Feel free to chime in. Last edited by victorjara; 09-27-2004 at 08:44 PM..