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Originally Posted by lurkette
last I'd checked she's an adult who doesn't need permission from her husband to go anywhere or do anything
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Sorry but that's total BS. When you are married there is more to it that than "I'm an adult and I can do what I want." She's talking about traveling out of state to meet a guy she first met during a time when they were split up. Sure, it is a trust issue but it's not unreasonable to be distrustful in this situation.
I see nothing wrong with making this a family trip.
edit:
Shani, your 18 year friendship does not compare with someone who his wife met during a period when they broke up. He's never met him, the original post makes it seem that he's rarely discussed either. Therefore he seems far from a rock of inspiration.
Sure, she could cheat and fuck any random dude. That's obvious to everyone. However, in this situation there are already emotional ties that make it more like hooking up with an ex than some one night stand (ie intimacy that you don't get from one night stand).
If she is cheating, the "girlfriend" could me a made up situation. Something to tell the husband to help his doubts about it. It doesn't mean she'd actually stay there.