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I understand 120%. I have been put into this situation before. I would be willing to bet my number one dime that this friend still has feelings for your wife. I can appreciate that you do trust your wife. She is the mother of your child for goodness sake. This guy, however, is not the mother of your child. He is not married to you and you do not know him. He is a stranger to you, so it is perfectly natural, based on the information you have, to be really worrried about this. All you know about this guy is that he dated you wife and he 'inspires' her. Ther is a difference between trusting someones actions and intentions (as you do), and trusting somones thoughts on other people.
Has your wife admitted to the possibility that this guy still likes her? That in and of itself is enough to take a step back from the scenereo. She is going to stay with one of HIS girlfriends. Not someone you know, either. She is going to be spending time doing (writing?) stuff with this guy. This guy that she used to date. This guy that she once had feelings for and who once had (if not has) feelings for her. Put that way, her case begins to crumble.
I know how the conversation goes. If you were to say to her what I just wrote in the last paragraph, she'd say you don't trust her. That's dodging the central issue.
If I were in your shoes: talk to the guy. I know this will apear to be your not trusting your wife on the surface, but you honestly love and care for your wife. Of course, I'm a guy. You might do well talking to women.
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