Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - thoughts on wife visiting friend of opposite sex

chickentribs · 09-27-2004, 01:07 AM

May I preface this with the fact that I am fiercly independant and always have been - even in my relationships and I know that isn't everyone's cup of tea...

As I read your post, I kept thinking "He doesn't trust her" not once, but like 3 times! Granted, it is a hard situation for you and I think it is perfectly natural for you to have a bit of unrest. My SO of 7 years had a ton of male friends, some that she would vacation with when I was tied up with work. I came to terms early on that I always wanted to be the guy who was confident enough to let her live her life, and in turn she did the same for me. The prize was that you share a life with someone that is a true partner instead of someone tied to you through insecurity and codependancy.

You are human and you will have feelings - but this may be a great opportunity for you to show her that the two of you have a love that you can trust her to have a friendship with a man and still be your wife. (Part of that trust involves respecting that she can weed out jerks and rapists from the good people.)

And if none of that means much - rest assured that if your wife was inclined to fool around on you or leave you, I'm afraid latching onto her arm with your child in tow would not help. I think if you give her this space you will surely earn her love, and respect.

Like I said - not everyone's cup of tea, eh?

09-27-2004, 01:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
chickentribs Addict Location: Mansion by day/Secret Lair by night	May I preface this with the fact that I am fiercly independant and always have been - even in my relationships and I know that isn't everyone's cup of tea... As I read your post, I kept thinking "He doesn't trust her" not once, but like 3 times! Granted, it is a hard situation for you and I think it is perfectly natural for you to have a bit of unrest. My SO of 7 years had a ton of male friends, some that she would vacation with when I was tied up with work. I came to terms early on that I always wanted to be the guy who was confident enough to let her live her life, and in turn she did the same for me. The prize was that you share a life with someone that is a true partner instead of someone tied to you through insecurity and codependancy. You are human and you will have feelings - but this may be a great opportunity for you to show her that the two of you have a love that you can trust her to have a friendship with a man and still be your wife. (Part of that trust involves respecting that she can weed out jerks and rapists from the good people.) And if none of that means much - rest assured that if your wife was inclined to fool around on you or leave you, I'm afraid latching onto her arm with your child in tow would not help. I think if you give her this space you will surely earn her love, and respect. Like I said - not everyone's cup of tea, eh? __________________ Oft expectation fails... and most oft there Where most it promises - Shakespeare, W.