phyzix525

I wish it was me, at least I know there would be something I could do about it. right now I just have to sit back and hope that she can accept the advice from councilours and others telling her she has problems that she needs to deal with. If it was just me I could change. I could do something to make her happy.

After we talked today I was very emotional. First time in a few years actually. I just walked into the bathroom and took a shower. Just trying to calm down not wanting my kids to see me that way. I stood there under the water and after a few minutes I thought I had it under control and then I thought about her and someone else. well I ended up punching a hole in the shower. Its fiberglass and it cut the crap out of my knuckle. but it was probably the best thing I could do. all the energy that I had stored up was expelled and I was able to calm down.

I watched some football and I started feeling weird and I thought that I should go talk to her. I walked in and asked her if the whole thing about killing herself was just cause she was upset or if I should really be concerned about it. She told me that she was mostly depressed bacuse she was upset at how much she was hurting me.

As she walked out of the house on her way to work she said that she still thought that moving out was good for now and that she would not see anyone and would not be going out all the time and would go to counciling with me and that after some time hopefully it will work out.

Hopefully this will work out. I will try and keep you all up to date if anything major happens.

__________________
It's hard to remember we're alive for the first time
It's hard to remember we're alive for the last time
It's hard to remember to live before you die
It's hard to remember that our lives are such a short time
It's hard to remember when it takes such a long time