Using the offside trap is not a decision to be made by an individual, it is an entire team strategy.
If you're playing with four on the back line (Left + right defence, stopper, sweeper) the sweeper should be the man that dictates the back line. You should almost never be behind him. If you are on the right or left side, always try to face towards the middle of the field so you can keep an eye on the play of the ball and also watch your sweeper. If your sweeper pushes up, you do too. Therefore, usually the onus for the trap during normal play should not come upon you but rather on the sweeper.
On set plays that have the ability to drop the ball in the 18 yard box (i.e. freekicks from about half), there are two things you can do. Get the defenders to all stand on a certain reference point (usually the 18 yard box, but the sweeper should be able to set it just by where he's standing), and the instant before the kicker tries to put the ball over the defensive line and into your 18, push out like hell, but only for a few yards. This will make at least one of the other teams forwards offside, but also keep you in a very competitive position in case the referee does not call the offside, or one of your players keep them onside.
The other option is the moment before the ball is kicked, have all of the defenders drop back four or five yards, then depending on the flight of the ball, move forward to meet it in the air (much easier than backpedaling to head a ball in the air), or attack the ball from the recessed position. All of these moves must be coordinated usually by a signal. My old team used to use odd numbers called out to denote a push up, and even numbers to be a fall back.
Also key to remember, the forward can only go as far as you let him walk without the ball. If you're the last man, and you stop, he can't pass you. You have a lot more power than you think.
Another great strategy in soccer (and most other passing sports) is the theory of triangles. If you keep reasonable triangle shape with your other close teammates, you will always have two options to pass to.
Also, if you're on defence, try to make a checkmark towards the ball. I.e.
O- Ball
LD
xxStopperxxxxRD
xxxxxxxSweeper
x's used for spacing.
This keeps the maximum amount of players between the goal and the ball, keeps the sweeper as the last man, and lets the opposite defender prevent a switch from being too deadly.
Also - space. I can't stress this enough. You'd be surprised what taking five more steps towards the side line can do when your team has the ball. It forces the other teams striker to decide if he/she should keep marking you closely (in which case, there is a gap in the other teams defence which can make for a pass) or he/she might not follow you for those next five steps, allowing you to be a viable target for a pass.
Ways to practice controling and passing the ball - a wall. Just kick a ball against the wall, trap and repeat. Kick the ball at different heights to practice different trapping areas (thigh, chest, foot etc). Also, get used to taking a moving ball from one direction, and having your first touch control the ball in the direction you want to pass the ball. It can speed up the movement of the ball by large amounts.
I'll post more stuff as I can think of it.
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