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victorjara · 09-25-2004, 08:28 AM

Thanks for replies, they help me by giving me a wider set of viewpoints to consider than just my own. It appears that overwhelmingly you all think I screwed up.

DJ Happy, Seer666 - He has never officially accepted paternity. On the birth certificate, the space for father is blank. The only arrangement he has with my daughter for supporting the child is 'she doesn't ask and he doesn't pay'. But some day in the future the baby will start eating her out of house and home, and the father will be making more money, and if my daughter signs away her rights to support like she wants to do (out of some misguided loyalty, Stockholm Effect, love, or the subtle effects of adult-over-child coersion) it will be a big mistake. And I'm not going to let that happen while she is still on my watch.

Slimshadee - I am not the one who made things bad for my daughter. She was the one who made the choice to hang with the wrong people, she was the one who allowed herself to get too close to adults who did not have her best interests in mind, but wanted to use her for their own pleasure. She made things bad for herself, but as a child, was not fully responsible for her behavior, but the adults were, and I feel it is my responsibility, as her father, to hold them accountable.

cj2112 - As for now, sitting down with her would be out of the question. She will not do it. If I were to call, she would hang up and tell me to stop harassing her. So I think that letting some time go by is the only option for now. But I can use this time to try go gain a fuller understanding of the situation, rather than to just see it from my own personal perspective.

Shakran - Actually, she and the baby are living off the child support I am still sending her mom for her, which will cut off in December after 12 years. She also collects welfare, which I call charity. There are many programs available for teen moms who want to go to college (she's attending the local community college. for now). Actually, my assertive approach to this is edging her on to succeed in college, since she will go to any length to prove that I am full of shit, even getting good grades! (she nearlyt failed out of high school before she was pregnant by cutting class, not doing work, etc.---at the pregnant girls school she did better, because she didn't have to be there at a particular time, she picked up her work and did it at home, in order to graduate).

Thank you all for your responses. Please keep them coming.

09-25-2004, 08:28 AM	#14 (permalink)
victorjara Upright	Thanks for replies, they help me by giving me a wider set of viewpoints to consider than just my own. It appears that overwhelmingly you all think I screwed up. DJ Happy, Seer666 - He has never officially accepted paternity. On the birth certificate, the space for father is blank. The only arrangement he has with my daughter for supporting the child is 'she doesn't ask and he doesn't pay'. But some day in the future the baby will start eating her out of house and home, and the father will be making more money, and if my daughter signs away her rights to support like she wants to do (out of some misguided loyalty, Stockholm Effect, love, or the subtle effects of adult-over-child coersion) it will be a big mistake. And I'm not going to let that happen while she is still on my watch. Slimshadee - I am not the one who made things bad for my daughter. She was the one who made the choice to hang with the wrong people, she was the one who allowed herself to get too close to adults who did not have her best interests in mind, but wanted to use her for their own pleasure. She made things bad for herself, but as a child, was not fully responsible for her behavior, but the adults were, and I feel it is my responsibility, as her father, to hold them accountable. cj2112 - As for now, sitting down with her would be out of the question. She will not do it. If I were to call, she would hang up and tell me to stop harassing her. So I think that letting some time go by is the only option for now. But I can use this time to try go gain a fuller understanding of the situation, rather than to just see it from my own personal perspective. Shakran - Actually, she and the baby are living off the child support I am still sending her mom for her, which will cut off in December after 12 years. She also collects welfare, which I call charity. There are many programs available for teen moms who want to go to college (she's attending the local community college. for now). Actually, my assertive approach to this is edging her on to succeed in college, since she will go to any length to prove that I am full of shit, even getting good grades! (she nearlyt failed out of high school before she was pregnant by cutting class, not doing work, etc.---at the pregnant girls school she did better, because she didn't have to be there at a particular time, she picked up her work and did it at home, in order to graduate). Thank you all for your responses. Please keep them coming. Last edited by victorjara; 09-25-2004 at 08:44 AM..