Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

victorjara · 09-24-2004, 04:20 PM

Thank you all for your replies. I am listening, and I am striving for understanding.

Dane, I think that the guy might be a total bum, but I'm not sure. He's 22 now, and came to court in a white undershirt almost down to his knees. He speaks no English, has no education, and barely making minimum wage. He lives with his mom, who has no knowledge about any of this. It has always been my position that he should have a big part in the baby's life, but ONLY AFTER he has stepped up like a man and accepted paternity and set up regular child support payments, even if they are just token at this time. My daughter is completely against this for some reason.

Averett- the man is more than welcome, from my perspective, to have a part in the child's life IF he has stepped up like a man...etc..etc. see above paragraph. He can't have a relationship now because of MY actions? I'm not the one who committed a felony against a child, and her family. He is in trouble because of his own actions. I am just making sure that the law as it is on the books, is being applied.

Redlemon - Yes, my ex has custody of my daughter and has throughout our divorce. I have always paid child support fully and on time, had the kids over for the weekends, followed through on their health care issues, and tried to participate in the important moments of their lives. But I know that I have missed out on a lot of her development. I know that about three years ago my daughter started hanging out and emulating gang individuals, which is when I had to turn up the attention, and boundry setting with her. And again, I'm not trying to remove him from her life, but to just have him accept paternity and support the child like a true man would do.

98MustGT- Yes I found those statistics (too late), and of course I want a relationship with them, I can suck it up, and accept a large portion of the blame as to why she is the way that she is, but as of yet, I still want him to accept paternity and make support payments. All my efforts (besides the initial prosecution) are towards those ends only. As for now, there is no chance of the ballgame, or even a civil communication with my daughter. If I called, she would hang up on me. And I don't know how I am going to see my grandson, short of going to get visitation rights in family court.

Thank you all for your input. I can take it, even if it is harsh. I am trying to understand. But doesn't anyone see it my way? Any dads out ther in similar situation? Keep the replies coming and God bless.

09-24-2004, 04:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
victorjara Upright	Thank you all for your replies. I am listening, and I am striving for understanding. Dane, I think that the guy might be a total bum, but I'm not sure. He's 22 now, and came to court in a white undershirt almost down to his knees. He speaks no English, has no education, and barely making minimum wage. He lives with his mom, who has no knowledge about any of this. It has always been my position that he should have a big part in the baby's life, but ONLY AFTER he has stepped up like a man and accepted paternity and set up regular child support payments, even if they are just token at this time. My daughter is completely against this for some reason. Averett- the man is more than welcome, from my perspective, to have a part in the child's life IF he has stepped up like a man...etc..etc. see above paragraph. He can't have a relationship now because of MY actions? I'm not the one who committed a felony against a child, and her family. He is in trouble because of his own actions. I am just making sure that the law as it is on the books, is being applied. Redlemon - Yes, my ex has custody of my daughter and has throughout our divorce. I have always paid child support fully and on time, had the kids over for the weekends, followed through on their health care issues, and tried to participate in the important moments of their lives. But I know that I have missed out on a lot of her development. I know that about three years ago my daughter started hanging out and emulating gang individuals, which is when I had to turn up the attention, and boundry setting with her. And again, I'm not trying to remove him from her life, but to just have him accept paternity and support the child like a true man would do. 98MustGT- Yes I found those statistics (too late), and of course I want a relationship with them, I can suck it up, and accept a large portion of the blame as to why she is the way that she is, but as of yet, I still want him to accept paternity and make support payments. All my efforts (besides the initial prosecution) are towards those ends only. As for now, there is no chance of the ballgame, or even a civil communication with my daughter. If I called, she would hang up on me. And I don't know how I am going to see my grandson, short of going to get visitation rights in family court. Thank you all for your input. I can take it, even if it is harsh. I am trying to understand. But doesn't anyone see it my way? Any dads out ther in similar situation? Keep the replies coming and God bless.