bermuDa

lad its your duty to find you a lass
with child bearing hips and a pink supple ass
and make her your wife
and lather her with love so true

now some rivers run high
some rivers run low
when her river runs red and shes starting her flow
its called menstruation and heres what it means to you

you will notice her bloomers are spotty at first
stand back her ovarian dam's gonna burst
son don't be afraid its a natural thing
just wad up some cotton and hand her a string
and put the old linens ontop of the bed
get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead

she'll retain her water her breast'll be tender
and every third word that you say will offend her
get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead

she'll want to make love, if you do you're a fool
cause you'll only end up with a bloody o'toole
get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead

and she'll want you to sample the fruit of her loins
but son it'll taste like some old rusty coins
so turn off the light and
take off your hat and drop to your knees say a prayer to saint pat
that'll give you the strength to get out of bed
and for irelands sake get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead

now the pub is the place where the lads are meeting
when the moon is full and the gals are a bleeding
the catholic the protestant even the pagan
the pub is the place when your lady is raggin
so drink up your pint boys and thank your shamrocks
that as men folks that we dont have to bleed from our cocks
and that we can escape from the lady in red
and get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead

-Steven Lynch ^_^

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