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wow, seems like quite the house of cards. I can definitely understand your rage about what has happened. you cannot change what has happened, but you can do your best to make it better for the child. a few times in your post you said "if" he is the father. Now what are you saying about your daughter? Do you think she was sleeping with many guys? There seems to be some underlying anger with your daughter. Is this guy some total loser? What do you really know about him? I realize that age difference could be hard to get over, but what's done is done. time to make the best of it. Unless this guy is just some street thug, then I might suggest that you give him/them a chance. Remember, she's almost 18, after then , she will do what she wants to do.
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