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jerikofeng · 09-21-2004, 02:10 PM

My wife and I are heading down this road for the first time recently. I'll admit its one sided right now but there are things in our relationship that permit and since we communicate well, its something that might evolve for us....sooo..

1) Do you love your spouse?
Yes - she is defintely what you would call my soulmate - she udnerstands and fits me better than anyone. I can't bear the thought of not having her in my life - and she is my best friend.

2) Do you get jealous at all when your spouse has sex with another person? We've not crossed that bridge yet, but in heading down this path I feel I could say NO as long as it is not in my face at first. Maybe a little longer down the path as it evolves I can honestly say no.

3) Do you prefer your current situation over a "conventional" marriage?
I give it lots of thought for sure...I know I am happy in our marriage and don't think I need more than this - but the new dynamic this adds is exciting - not a replacement. I am hoping it becomes an addition for us.

4) Do you think there is someone else out there that you might meet some day that you would prefer to have a "conventional" marriage with?
I suppose that chance always exists - but honestly I don't need more. If all we're tweaking is our sex life, than I don't need anyone else. I am happy with her and I think our marriage is conventional in all other aspects.

5) Do you intend to be in your current marriage forever? If so, do you intend to keep it open forever?
Yes I intend on being with her for as long as fate permits. I doubt we will keep it open forever....I suppose we see how things go first. (maybe I am naive, but this is new to us so we'll hope for the best.)

6) What does being married bring to you that "just dating" doesn't?
As others said; love, trust, comfort, friendship, being with a partner. Dating/sex really doesn't have that same feel. My marriage has so many qualities that one does not get from just dating.

7) Are there some people you prefer to have sex with rather than your spouse?
Since we've not found out yet - I don't know. I love sex with my partner. Its infrequent but good. I think I will enjoy it whatever but its sex...really how different is it from person to person. Now I KNOW there are differences - but its still sex....and being in love with my partner is something I don't get elsewhere.

8) Are you always honest with your spouse about who you sleep with?
Thus far yes. I don't wish to rub it in her face (since I am arranging something) but she knows who and what is happening. Perhaps I need to have more raw honesty as was mentioned, but I don't believe I am keeping secrets.

9) Does it make a difference if your spouse doesn't tell you who he/she sleeps with during your marriage?
I think I need to KNOW. Our honesty needs to be as bold as to be honest with what we're doing and possibly with who. I DON'T think I need to say "going out to screw so and so". The implication and the knowledge is there and that may be enough. As I said at the beginning this has not happened yet but of course there needs to be communication.

10) Please define what "open marriage" means to you in a personal sense.
Its having a marriage and a home where love and trust all come into play - a solid relationship that you share with your spouse where you know you love one another and can share knowing they still want you, but they are just being physically free. Sex does not always have to = love. So I can have my fun but my wife always comes first, my marriage and family is the most important thing, and its her I want to be with always....

Good luck! Hope this helps!

09-21-2004, 02:10 PM	#13 (permalink)
jerikofeng Upright Location: Saskatchitario	My wife and I are heading down this road for the first time recently. I'll admit its one sided right now but there are things in our relationship that permit and since we communicate well, its something that might evolve for us....sooo.. 1) Do you love your spouse? Yes - she is defintely what you would call my soulmate - she udnerstands and fits me better than anyone. I can't bear the thought of not having her in my life - and she is my best friend. 2) Do you get jealous at all when your spouse has sex with another person? We've not crossed that bridge yet, but in heading down this path I feel I could say NO as long as it is not in my face at first. Maybe a little longer down the path as it evolves I can honestly say no. 3) Do you prefer your current situation over a "conventional" marriage? I give it lots of thought for sure...I know I am happy in our marriage and don't think I need more than this - but the new dynamic this adds is exciting - not a replacement. I am hoping it becomes an addition for us. 4) Do you think there is someone else out there that you might meet some day that you would prefer to have a "conventional" marriage with? I suppose that chance always exists - but honestly I don't need more. If all we're tweaking is our sex life, than I don't need anyone else. I am happy with her and I think our marriage is conventional in all other aspects. 5) Do you intend to be in your current marriage forever? If so, do you intend to keep it open forever? Yes I intend on being with her for as long as fate permits. I doubt we will keep it open forever....I suppose we see how things go first. (maybe I am naive, but this is new to us so we'll hope for the best.) 6) What does being married bring to you that "just dating" doesn't? As others said; love, trust, comfort, friendship, being with a partner. Dating/sex really doesn't have that same feel. My marriage has so many qualities that one does not get from just dating. 7) Are there some people you prefer to have sex with rather than your spouse? Since we've not found out yet - I don't know. I love sex with my partner. Its infrequent but good. I think I will enjoy it whatever but its sex...really how different is it from person to person. Now I KNOW there are differences - but its still sex....and being in love with my partner is something I don't get elsewhere. 8) Are you always honest with your spouse about who you sleep with? Thus far yes. I don't wish to rub it in her face (since I am arranging something) but she knows who and what is happening. Perhaps I need to have more raw honesty as was mentioned, but I don't believe I am keeping secrets. 9) Does it make a difference if your spouse doesn't tell you who he/she sleeps with during your marriage? I think I need to KNOW. Our honesty needs to be as bold as to be honest with what we're doing and possibly with who. I DON'T think I need to say "going out to screw so and so". The implication and the knowledge is there and that may be enough. As I said at the beginning this has not happened yet but of course there needs to be communication. 10) Please define what "open marriage" means to you in a personal sense. Its having a marriage and a home where love and trust all come into play - a solid relationship that you share with your spouse where you know you love one another and can share knowing they still want you, but they are just being physically free. Sex does not always have to = love. So I can have my fun but my wife always comes first, my marriage and family is the most important thing, and its her I want to be with always.... Good luck! Hope this helps! __________________ supreme beings are kind of like pets. both will listen when no one else is around. coincidently, neither will respond.