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The most critical thing from my perspective is the kids, they need to be protected, as much as possible from all the games that their parents are playing which each others minds.
Can you send them away for a short time whilst you try and work it out. It can be really damaging to young minds to see the implosion of their worlds and they will take a long time to recover.
From my experience, I divorced ten years ago, constant contact and a genuine committment to them is critical regardless of how I feel about their mother (whom I hate for what she did to me). O and by the way, the kids shouldn't be a weapon that you use against your ex.
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