This one's kind of a sight-gag, and also requires special attention to the narrative voice to play well.
A guy walks into the Nineteenth Hole at his local golf club.
*in a raspy, larynx swallowing voice* "Hey bartender - gimme a beer"
Bartender: *motioning the twist-off cap and handing over the beer* "What the hell happened to you?"
Golfer:*voice* "You know the fifth hole? How it runs along that farmer's field?"
Bartender: "Yeah."
Golfer: *voice* "Well, I sliced my ball into the field. I went in to find it, and there was this lady in there looking for her ball. There was cows and cow shit everywhere, and when I walked past this one cow, I noticed a golf ball lodged in its ass. It was a Titleist. I was shooting TopFlite, so I says *motions the tail lift with one hand and points at the cow's ass with the other* "Hey lady! Look like yours?"
*motions horizontal hacking motion at his own throat* "Five-iron, right here!"
--
That one is way funnier in person, but it's still my favorite joke so I had to share.
