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Originally Posted by MageB420666
I would personally tell her that if she wants to be with me she needs to break it off with her boyfriend, cause I too am against cheating and helping others cheat. If she wasn't willing to break it off, then I guess that I would have to get over "liking" her and either just be friends or stop seeing/talking to her at all.
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See, that's the thing. Her boyfriend is very good friends with one of my ex girfriends. This ex girlfriend just so happens to have started an "I hate CityOfAngels" Club. You see, I left this girl to be with the Chinese girl. As of now, the "club" only consists of her, her close friends, and now my Chinese ex girlfriend (ex girlfriends seem to team up against you when they break up with you, even if they've stolen you from each other). Right now I'm seen as "The guy who leaves women for other women' (which I can understand; I did leave one for the other), and "The insanely jealous guy" (which the Chinese girl oft accused me of being, when in fact it was just my instincts telling me to break up with her). If I tell this girl to break up with her boyfriend, you can go ahead and tack on "The guy who'll still your girlfriend."
I know it doesn't matter what other people think of me, but it just sucks to be thought of as a scumbag when there's more to the story. I left that girl because I was in love with the Chinese girl; I chose love over a blossoming relationship. I thought the Chinese girl was cheating on me because in fact she WAS cheating on me. What excuse would I have here? I'd be blatantly stealing his girlfriend.
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Originally Posted by RoboBlaster
Out of respect for the other guy, I would withold from getting with her. However, I would stop encouraging her from sticking with a guy who she shouldn't be with in the first place. She is respecting him less than you are; you are the one keeping the relationship together in the first place, and that should be their job. I'd tell her, if you want to get with me, you gotta break it off with your current boyfriend first. And then we wait a while for safety's sake.
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I totally agree with you. My job isn't to encourage her to be with someone, but to encourage her NOT to be with me and someone else at the same time. It's not my fault if she breaks his heart; I would only be at fault if I started sleeping with her while she was still with him.
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Originally Posted by Dane Bramage
On the one hand... "All is fair in love and war."
On the other hand... if she will do it to him with you, then most likely, she will do it to you with someone else.
I too have been the victim of a cheating woman, and I agree that it is the single worst thing you can do to someone (besides killing them slowly). It is for that reason that I could never be the creator of such pain in someone else.
Your first reaction is the right one. Stick to your guns and hold out.
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Yeah...to be cheated on...the pain is unexplainable. Who knows, maybe the reason I had to experience being cheated on so I could learn from it; not only to tell me what type of women I should avoid, but to know how it feels so I don't do it to anyone else.
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Originally Posted by bookerV
Tell her to break it off with the dude.
Sounds to me like she wants to have you both. That isn't fair to anyone. Make her pick...
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After thinking about it, I might just want to be patient and tell her, "I'm not doing anything with you while you're taken. Call me if you're ever single again." To make her choose then and there would just kill our friendship, plus I don't even know if I want to start anything serious with her just yet. Sure, I like her, but there are so many other women I can be having fun with. I'll just have my fun while she's taken. Trying to avoid "oneitis" here, hehe (reference from the guide posted somewhere on TFP).
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Originally Posted by willravel
Well I dated this girl for a while. I don't know if it was this exact girl, but you know, basically the same person. She is confused as heck. If fact, shye is so confused that she is willing to ruin her relationship to be with you. Whether this is wrong or right is open to interpretation, but the fact of the matter is that they love each other. Ask her to intorduce you two. He's probably just some basically good guy like you, that loves this girl. Then let your conscience do the driving.
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LOL you dated her? Well, you are in Frisco, so if you've moved there in the past few years for school from the L.A. area, you might've. Also, I've met the guy, and I must say that knowing who he is definitely adds on to the "Don't want him to feel the same way" feeling.