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zen_tom makes a good point; what we think marriage is will, to a large extent, determine whether or not we think society is obligated to extend marriage benefits to same-sex couples. The conservative argument against gay marriage, at least when it's made intelligently, is based on the notion that the purpose of marriage, or at least the primary purpose of marriage, is to produce children, to provide them with a secure environment, and to provide them with role models of both genders. Since the state has a valid interest in seeing that children are reared in the best possible enviroment, it has a valid interest in encouraging specific forms of personal union to the exclusion of others. Most of the previous argument I agree with. But I'm not sure that two women or two men can't do an adequate enough job raising a child. (Note that the issue is not, nor should it be, whether or not a gay couple can raise a child as well as a heterosexual couple. I'm sure that, even if it turns out that, on average, gay couples are worse than hetero couples at raising children, whatever that means, many gay couples will be better at it than many hetero couples. And we don't issue marriage licenses on the basis of how good a couple will be at raising children anyway.)
So what about the procreation issue? Well, I think it's pretty much bunk. Procreation is not the only purpose of marriage; it's not even the primary purpose of marriage. Marriage is primarily, if I can get sentimental a second, about the union of two souls. From a civic standpoint (since I don't see a valid interest for the state to promote the union of souls), it provides a generally more stable structure for society as whole, outside of the whole issue of providing for children. And, of course, minus any specifically religious objections, gay couples can form a stable relationship at least as well as hetero couples.
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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."
"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
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