Quote:
|
Originally Posted by joystick
So these two rednecks are walking down the road when they see a dog licking his "privates" One redneck says to the other "Boy I wish I could do that." The other 'neck replies "Boy...you better pet 'im first."
|
I joined a couple of friends for a weekly poker game they had been holding for years and one of the guys in the game (who I didn't know) said the same thing when the host's dog started doing it. I told him "If you ask him maybe he'll let you." Everyone cracked up and this guy got pissed. I thought it would end in a fight by the end of the night but it didn't.
Anyway, I assume this is my favorite since it's one of only a couple I remember from my youth:
There was a mom and dad with three kids. The dad was a big time gun buff and had bought all three kids bb guns. The mom was in a rush one night making dinner and in a real bad mood. While making the mashed potatoes she accidentally knocked over a box of bb's on the shelf above where she was working. Some fell into the bowl without her noticing. As the father ate dinner he commented about how lumpy the potatoes were and the mother snapped at him. Not wanting to piss her off any further the four of them just ate the potatoes and went on their way.
The next day the youngest kid comes running to his mom crying "Mommy, mommy I went to the bathroom and a bb came out!" She comforted him and said not to worry about it but let her know if it happens again.
A little while later the second kid comes running in saying the same thing. Again, she comforts her child and sends him on his way. She's now starting to get a little worried.
Now, the third kid comes running in. "Mommy, mommy guess what!?!"
She replies: " I know, you went to the bathroom and a bb came out. Right?"
"Ummm, no. I was jerking off and I shot the dog."