|
I find myself mentioning my past with cheating far more often than I ever would have expected, and for far longer.
I was living with this girl in college. We were going to the same school, worked at the same workplace, in the same department, and we even opened a joint checking out near the end of the relationship. Out of the blue, she cheats on me with a fellow co-worker, a married co-worker whose wife also works in our department.
But it wasn't exactly "out of the blue." What you need to understand is that it is never, ever out of the blue. When you're in a genuine relationship, this kind of thing doesn't just happen unless you're bent in the head. For example, I was significantly overweight and spent a huge amount of time on the computer, and she was depressive. I spent a huge amount of time on the computer because she was depressive, which contributed to my weight gain. I'm sure if we all examined those broken relationships, we'd see reasons and signs we missed. We'd see a domino effect. She wasn't a bad person, nor was I an innocent victim. She just had problems that I didn't know the extent of and didn't know how to deal with.
You live and learn. You find someone who's stable and genuinely communicative, and you hang onto them. I graciously backed away from one girl recently who's solid as a rock but silently defensive. If it wasn't for what happened in the past, I'd be jumping in feet first instead of looking for someone who was more open.
|