BlueBongo

I do enjoy random posts, but I also keep blogs for that as well. But I do enjoy posting here so much better because everyone gives honest opinions and I don't have to worry about some of the odd drama that somehow associates itself with blogs like livejournal.

Anyway, currently I'm just in an odd phase.. I don't really know what's going on with me, to be honest. I think I might go and see a therapist soon, to be honest.

Things are ok, not great though. I'm doing okay in school, but I know I need to be doing better. Things are okay on the homefront, but they could be better. Work is sort of a mute point because work is work, I don't dislike it... but I have found my motivation for making work great... paying my bills to get by, that is what makes work great. Personally, I feel miserable inside. I just lack so much motivation, and I don't know why? I don't know if it's my constantly failing health, or I am just somewhat comfortable going on with how things are? But it's at the point where it's not just affecting me inwardly and outwardly, but it's also effecting my husband. But he doesn't always communicate it to me.. I just know it's effecting him.

I suppose in many ways I have always been more "independently" minded, but I have always had some small need to co-exist with others as well. And really, I don't know if I know how to co-exist with others in many ways. Lately I have just had no sort of need to be affectionate, and I can't figure it out. I know I have something wrong with me healthwise.. but I know that this isn't the problem. It just seems more and more I find myself sleeping quite a bit and droning away with school, work, and then just coming home and sleeping more. It seems possible that maybe I am just depressed, but I don't FEEL like I am. I just feel like I am just lacking any motivation to change or adapt to all of the new situations. I think when I boil everything down to it, I really should go see a therapist because I am tired of feeling like this and I am upset that it is effecting both of us rather greatly.

That's all for now.

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"Things can only get so bad before they have no choice but to get better.."