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Without knowing more, I can't really say what's up with your situation, but a number of possibilities come to mind:
1. you're in love with this girl
2. you're in love with something she represents for you
3. she's become some ideal for you that nobody else has a chance of comparing to - perhaps as a way of keeping people at a distance?
4. the people you've met just haven't been right for you
Did she move away and you lost touch? (If that's the case, and you haven't seen her in 5 years, I'm going to go with #3.) If you're still using her as the comparison for everyone 5 years later, and "can't stop thinking" about her on dates, I think she's probably become some kind of construct in your head. Not healthy.
Did she move away and you're still speaking? (If that's the case, I'd vote for #1 or 2, and you should send her the letter.)
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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