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Autochron, you have come to the right place. I am in no means a sex therapist, but I have had the same feelings as you have had, but they were a long time ago. I used to be really down on myself. I had to see a counselor, was suicidal at a very early age, would openly admit that I hated myself and the way I looked. Those days are well beyond me now. Not saying this is what is going on with you, but I didn't know what self esteem was because I was never taught it by my dad or older brother. I had to get into sports to figure it out for myself. I learned by myself that I had to take care of myself to make me presentable to the opposite sex as well. This is not just primping and prepping for the ladies, but more of a sense of taking care of your mental attitude too. Being shy is one thing. You can be shy and still have a sense that you are sexually attracted to someone out there. Shallow women will like you for your exterior. They will see the clothes you buy, smell the cologne you wear, see the car you drive.....the women you want are the ones who look beyond that and find the strength of character in a man, the integrity they hold, and their sense of responsibility. What it bopils down to is that if you are strong mentally, you feel good about who you are, then this will shine through to the opposite sex. Once the confidence starts to gain some speed, the rest of it will all fall into place. Even though this might not directly apply to you, I speak from personal experience and it has helped me to look at myself in a whole other light. I wish you the best.
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Doh!!!!
-Homer Simpson
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