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I raise my glass to my first and only child, Lorin. He was born prematurely just over 11 yrs. ago. He was born on my birthday and died on his due date 2 and a half months later. He lived his entire life in the NICU and was never able to come home. He had an extremely rare disorder and it is likely that we can never have children naturaly but instead will adopt if possible.
The pain has lessened but will never disappear. It often pops into my head that our lives would be so different if he had lived, we'd now have an eleven yr. old beautiful prepubescent boy running our lives instead of it just being us after nearly 16 yrs. (we're both 33). It almost hurts physically to think of that possible alternate existance.
Yes, I raise my glass often, but tonight it is with love, sadness, longing and remembrence....
Ali
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'Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun, The frumious Bandersnatch!'--Jabberwocky, Lewis Carroll
"You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late."--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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