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You are spot-on about the CCW holders. I can see where you're coming from on the kick with snubbies. I had a Ruger SP-101 in .357 magnum, and it straight beat the ever-lovin hell outta me. I don't mind recoil normally, and regularly fire full-on .44 mag using a Super Blackhawk. For some reason, that SP-101 just destroyed my hand to the point where I could not keep it. I sold it to a friend that had no plans to actually fire the gun much ata ll, and wanted it for his boat. I'l never buy another snubby .357 magnum.
A properly loaded .38 spec in a steel-framed gun should not be rough though. You go for light grain loads and avoid +P pressures, and you should be fine. A nice 110gr hollowpoint loaded to standard SAAMI pressures is really controllable, even for inexperienced shooters. Now I would probably not care for it in some of the new super-light pieces being put out by S&W and Taurus. But I don't think any load would be particularly comfortable in those things. There is a market and a use for them though, as the lighter the gun is, the easier it is to conceal. *shrug* Not my bag.
As I said earlier, try a S&W M-640 if you get the chance. I really wish I could get about 1" more barrel on my wifes, as I think it would balance it out better without reducing concealablity, but I doubt it'll ever happen.
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