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You have to be completely relaxed, and he has to go really really reallly really s l o w. It has to be worked with, and it would help if you were aroused and stimulating yourself, but mainly, relaxed.
Both of you need to understand that it takes time... I suggest toys. Go to the local porn store and pick yourself up a "beginners anal kit" seriously. Give it time, and yes, lots of lube. Try Cetaphil. It's not a sex lube, it's a sensitive skin lotion, but it works well. Use it liberally.
Personally, I loved it the first time, but I was so super horny when we did it, and it was explosions of ecstasy.
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