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A lot of people who choose not to have children know exactly what they're missing out on. I heard someone say once that not having children, you'd miss out on life's greatest joys and greatest sorrows. I know that a lot of parents get joy and fulfillment from being parents, but I also think it's overly romanticized in our culture. It's become this cult of parenthood and if you're not a member, you're to be pitied and condescended to. Sure, I'm missing the thrill of shaping a life, watching somebody grow, but I'm also missing the pain of watching your child grow away from you, knowing you can't protect them from harm, wondering how they're going to turn out, etc. And, as I saw with my brother and my parents, the pain of watching your child turn out exactly how you DIDN'T want, and watching your child die.
nzv, a lot of the reason people who don't have children feel like they have to defend their choice is because some people who have children treat us like children ourselves - we don't know what we're missing, we are selfish, we are conflicted, blah blah blah. I don't know if it's because those people are themselves conflicted about their choice to have kids and feel like they have to defend their own choices to themselves, or what, but it's really annoying to be told you don't know your own mind and that if you were thoughtful about it you'd want children.
People who choose not to have kids do so for as varied reasons as people who choose to have kids, and those reasons should be respected.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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